Saying ‘No’ and Why it Matters
Some time ago I was asked to give a short talk at an RIBA London Festival of Architecture event about how to establish boundaries with clients. I am a terrible public speaker and to this day I cringe at my performance that night. But despite the quivery voice waffling in that microphone, I still stand by what I said: We must learn to say ‘no’ to our clients, but how we say ‘no’ can change everything.
My beliefs on this topic come after a great deal of trial and error. And full disclosure, I am by no means perfect at it. I am still learning to do this with my own clients without feeling totally awkward at the same time.
At their most basic, creative businesses provide a service. In no way do I want that statement to denigrate the artist or designers’ creative ingenue. But as I’ve said in other posts, when the creative business gets stripped of its loftier values, it is simply a business that provides a service for a customer in exchange for money. Sorry folks, but we can’t be all that precious about it. Yes, we are required to bring our creativity, our very essence, to our work to the best of our abilities. And our clients and customers keep coming back for it. Why wouldn’t they? But without establishing some boundaries with them at the outset, we offer up that precious creativity at the expense of our well-being.
Our intuition pleads with us to push back a little when those clients keep asking for and taking more. If you listen hard, you hear it bellowing at us from within, asking us what the hell are we doing, and why on earth did we think this was a good idea. We’re torn between the desire to please our clients and our desire to please ourselves. We don’t know what to do. We forget, when deep into the hustle in the day-to-day of running a creative business, that there’s a difference between service and servitude.
I’ve seen a lot in my 15 years in the business of architecture and design: clients ghosting us without paying after delivering a whole set of drawings. One made requests for multiple redraws of spaces when a decision at the top could not be made. Another asked us to draw to pre-tender level for iterative concept drawings, leading to so much abortive work that we would have made more money that year if we had paid them not to do the work.
Every single time, we did it and did it willingly, usually for no additional fee. It’s not surprising that we got burnt a lot. What’s that old saying about the definition of insanity….?
Anyway, over time I began to understand that when clients push to make the unrealistic happen, and we do so at our own expense, we were perpetuating the problem. When we continued to always say ‘yes’ when we knew that it wouldn’t be achievable, we were continuing to live in in this relationship of servitude to our clients; a relationship which denigrated our ability and our value.
To be very clear, I don’t blame clients. Of course not. Why wouldn’t they push for more when they’re always going to get it? But equally, why do we choose to silently endure it without saying anything? We resent the relationship on which we’re totally reliant but equally angered by our lack of power within it. It is entirely passive and it makes no sense.
Sir Paul Smith (to egregiously name drop) once told a group of us that saying ‘No’ is one of the most important things he’s had to learn. But he also said it had to be done right and not said in a way that shuts down the conversation or any opportunity to find a compromise. “No, but I can do _______” encourages collaboration and instantly informs your client of what you can do. You won’t just say yes because they’re asking. You’re evaluating their proposal in terms of your own values, mission and goals to see what could work. The creative is not the servant to the client. But the creative can provide a brilliant service for the client: a service based on mutual respect and boundaries and one that works for both of you. One to which you’ll both be happy they keep coming back.
Lindsay Faller is a Business Strategist for the Creative Industries — see more at www.lindsayfaller.com
